Illustration: Carlos Rocafort
The five rules of spelling mmhmm:
1. Mmhmm is spelled with two ms on either side of an h; it is a rolling landscape of hills with a tone-changing antenna in the middle; a flock of birds flying in V formation with the long-beaked leader in the center. Its value in Scrabble would be a solid 16, but you wouldn’t have enough M tiles to spell it completely.
2. Mmhmm has no vowels because you shouldn’t have to open your mouth when agreeing with someone.
3. Mmhmm is a palindrome because palindromes are superior to non-palindromes.
4. "Mhm" is also a palindrome but this abbreviated spelling should be used only when short on time (and never when referring to your favorite video presentation tool) since it’s more like a curt ✅ than an enthusiastic affirmative.
5. Technically, Merriam-Webster spells mmhmm with a dash between the 2nd m and the h (mm-hmm). However, nobody texts like that. Do you even know where the dash is on your phone’s keyboard?